It's often said that women do more of the emotional work in the relationship. They also, obviously (at least based on a comparison between A's and my Facebook ads, and lots of anecdotal Internet-based evidence. Totally scientific!) do most of the wedding-planning work, on average.
When it comes down to it, A just isn't all that into the details of the wedding. I think of it as something of an art project, in a waymaking things pretty and matchy yet oh so breezy and casual and "I couldn't care less whether the flower arrangements match the bridesmaids' shoes." (Note: I really couldn't care less whether the flowers match the bridesmaids' shoes. I'm not even sure the flowers will match MY shoes. I am sure I will find some kick-ass shoes though. But they'll be covered up by the dress whenever I'm not hiking up its skirt to dance my pants off. Or something.)
He (A, my fiancé, that is) does care about some things. Like the band. And the venue. And the food. And pretty much everything that isn't a minor aesthetic detail. In a wedding that has few minor aesthetic details. Yet somehow, I'm the one who ends up doing most of the work researching these things (except the band! He's done 100% of the work when it comes to the band. Or rather, he's done the part where he asks a friend of his to assemble a band, so maybe his friend is doing a big chunk there too. But I haven't lifted a finger. So, yeah, not all bad.) But basically, there's this attitude of "you care way more about this than me so do whatever you want," followed by an "except for that" when I make a decision. And it's tiresome, and I bet I'm not the only fiancée who's experienced this.
And now I find myself nesting (well, a little). We want to decorate our new apartment. And by decorate, I mean "paint the walls something other than white." And I'm now tasked with picking colors because he's crap at colors. I'm fine with this, as long as I don't bring paint chips home only to hear an "ew, anything but that!"
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say in this post, beyond that this whole experience is part of that larger pattern of women doing the more household-type work when it comes to making things pretty. Yes, A will help actually paint the walls and move around the furniture and all the rest of the moving work. But I'll be running around doing the 'pretty' stuff, thinking and planning and matching. It'll be fun, but it'll be work. And I already have a full time job, thankyouverymuch.